I'm just a fucked up person always making the wrong choice.

screwed.



it's been 3 days since I've spoken to her properly.
it's kinda killin' me ( guess I'm so used to having her around me )
but it's definitely not killin' her.
wthhh.



not a word.
instead of waiting for her to initiate a convo , i went to apologise for being harsh on her in the end.
and fucking hell , when i tried to strike a convo today.
she bloody hell ignored me.
As if it was my fault.

tried callin' her 5 times but no valid.
if only she would pick up her phone.
maybe.
things would get better,hah.

FINE.
maybe I'm too soft-hearted.
wthhhh again.


i cant believe that I'm stuck in some stupid trap i set for myself.

with maryse and all , i can find every reason to start revision , cause' everyone's studying. ( Although that's soooo not Cherilyn )

with maryse and all , i find myself in a more selfless environment.

Cat's a nice girl for nuts and Fel too.

but I'm having difficulties getting along with maryse.



she gave me the extra push to take my first step.
but when I'm there , she refuse to communicate with me.
stifling.
and i noticed that she cant be bothered to reserve a seat for me in lecture as well.
wtffff.
I think i have some kind of attraction for friends that don't really care about these things.
saddening i would say.

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Cherilyn feels utterly lost now.
she wants to turn back time , rather continue with her status quo , but it's impossible now.